So for those of you who were wondering this blog has no theme. I find it delightfully sporadic. Today’s post is about spatulas (in case you couldn’t understand that from the title). It all began one lovely Christmas morning when My sister Miranda bet me that I could not come up with 100 non-food related things to do with a spatula. (Side note: I don’t remember the context leading up to this bet. I will say my family is… different. And also that this conversation, by comparison to many others we’ve had, is not actually that strange.) As you might guess, I won the bet. It didn’t even take me a full day. The list goes as follows.

*1. You could use a spatula for Spatula fights (a.k.a sparring)

2. You could use a spatula as a fly swatter

3. You could use a spatula as a mask

*4. You could use a spatula for a catapult

*5. You could use a spatula for splatting what ever needed to be splatted

6. If you were talented, you could juggle spatulas

7. You could use a spatula for delicatly pushing. For example, if there was a spider on the table and you wished for it to be  removed, but you were an animal lover and you didn’t want to kill it, then you could use a spatula to delicately push it off of the table.

8. You could use it for mashing something that wasn’t food. And yes, mashing is different than splatting.

9. You could use spatulas to make a modern art sculpture

*10. You could use a spatula as a dry wall scraper

11. You could use a spatula as a baton

*12. You could use a spatula to scratch your back

*13. You could use a spatula to reach for something that was under the couch

14. You could use a spatula as jewlery

*15. You could give a spatula as a gift

16. You could make a spatula bomb

*17. You could use a spatula for poking

*18. You could use a spatula for scooping

19. You could use a spatula for Squishing

20. You could use a spatula for playing pick up sticks

21. You could use a spatula for playing spoons

22. You could use a spatula as a bat

*23. You could use two spatulas as tongs

*24. You could use a spatula for stirring

*25. You could use a spatula as a sandbox toy

26. You could use a spatula as a bath tub toy

*27. You could use a spatula for touching the cieling

*28. You could use a spatula as an item in a scavenger hunt

29. You could make glasses out of spatulas

*30. You could use a spatula to scrape snow off of your windsheild

31. You could use a spatula as a sifter

32. You could use a spatula to clean horse hooves

33. You could make a picture frame out of spatulas

34. You could use a spatula as a fan

35. You could use a spatula as an antannea

36. You could use two spatulas as fake antlers

37. You could make an alien costume out of spatulas

38. If you crash on a deserted island and all you have is a ton of spatulas, you could use the spatulas to write out SOS (This is also  useful if you are being held captive in a spatula factory)

39. You could use a spatula to play fetch

40. You could use a spatula to keep the sun out of your eyes

41. You could use wooden spatulas to fuel a fire

42. You could burn a plastic spatula to annoy your enemies with the acrid scent

43. You could use a spatula as a Shovel

44. You could use a spatula to make a sun dial

45. You could build a fence out of spatulas

*46. You could use a spatula as a play dough cutting tool

47. You could snap the top off of a spatula and use it as a hair brush

48. You could write answers on a spatula and use it to cheat on a test

49. You could take a spatula to a group of savages who didn’t know what it was. There’s always the possibility that they will worship it and you will become their supreme ruler of awesomeness.

50. You could use a spatula as a paddle

*51. If you were bored, you could try to balance a spatula on your face

52. You could use a spatula as a tent stake

53. You could use a spatula to prop something up

54. You could use a spatula to support a plant

55. You could use a spatula to spank a naughty child

56. You could use a spatula as a Christmas tree topper

57. You could sell a spatula

58. You could use a spatula as a fake microphone, as people do with hairbrushes

*59. If it were metallic, you could use a spatula as a mirror

60. You could use a spatula as a teething toy

61. You could use a metallic spatula to blind your enemies

*62. You could use a spatula to deflect objects that were being thrown at you

63. You could use a spatula as a ping pong paddle substitute

64. You could use a spatula to hit a drum

*65. You could use a spatula to throw at people

66. You could use a spatula to hit a gong

67. If you had really good balance, you could use a spatula as a sled

68. You could use a spatula as a lever

*69. You could use a spatula as a splint

70. You could tape a spatula to a sign and use it to protest.

71. You could steal a spatula

72. You could use a spatula as a hammer

73. You could use a spatula as a pole when playing horse shoe

74. You could put a spatula in a time capsule

75. You could spell out Will You Marry Me with spatulas and use it as a wedding proposal

76. You could use spatulas to fork a yard

77. You could Trade a spatula

78. You could donate a spatula

79. You could use a spatula as a bird perch

80. You could use a spatula as a missile

81. You could use two spatulas to clap at a concert

82. You could make a spatula your team mascot

*83. You could buy a spatula

84. You could dance with a spatula

85. You could Kiss a spatula

86. You could make a tic tac toe board out of spatulas

87. You could stop a fan that was running out of control with a spatula

88. You could paint a spatula

89. You could give a spatula as a prize

90. You could pass a spatula in a relay race

91. You could use a spatula as a snow man nose

92. You could use it as a stylus for a really big touch screen

93. You could trip somebody with a spatula

94. You could use it to make a mobile for a baby

*95. You could use a spatula as a spare

96. You could use a spatula as a doll

97. You could make a weather vane out of spatulas

98. You could play a xylophone with a spatula

99. You could bury a spatula

100. You could use spatulas for model airplane propelers.

Ok, some of these are fairly ridiculous. I mean, they only had to be approved by Miranda to make the list. For what it’s worth it is a list of things you COULD do with a spatula. Not things you WOULD do with a spatula. I was surprised by how many of them were some what legitimate. I’ve put an asterisk next to those I know have actually been done.

After this conversation my sister Paige made me a toy duck (I love ducks) out of a spatula for my birthday:

His name is Count Quackula

I recommend you all go buy some spatulas. They are very useful, as you can see.