This post could alternatively be titled “My Sister is Gullible.”
So for those of you who don’t know the pink joke, or at least don’t know it by that name, the pink joke is basically a test of gullibility. The joke teller essentially makes up a story on the spot and just keeps telling it until the joke listener realizes there’s no punchline. Recently, my sister and I discovered a typed up version of part of the pink joke the one time I tried to tell it to her. I present it to you now, because it’s pretty funny for not being a real joke. I (as I tend to do) insert some parenthetical comments. For the most part, though, this is how the conversation went down:
Once there was this guy named Mark and he worked at this gas station. Mark loved burritos, but wouldn’t eat them ever because he was afraid of gaining weight. One day his mean ex-girlfriend Lola came into the gas station and started waving a burrito in Mark’s face and taunting him. Finally Mark was so fed up that he snatched the burrito out of Lola’s hand. Lola got mad and called her dad who was a police officer and said that Mark had robbed her. The police officer started chasing Mark, but then realized that all he had taken was a burrito. Mark didn’t realize that the police officer had stopped chasing him, though, and kept running until he reached Mexico.
Once he was in Mexico a mob saw him, but since he had a burrito they decided to give him a sombrero instead of being hostile to him. Then he ended up on a boat (ok, so I told this story awhile ago. I don’t remember WHY he got on the boat.). While in the boat he dropped his burrito overboard. When he didn’t have his burrito anymore, the mob became hostile again and through Mark off the boat. In the process Mark cut himself on a sharp piece of metal protruding from the side of the ship. Because of the cut, he was eaten by a shark when he fell into the Gulf of Mexico.
As it turned out the shark’s name was Leonard. Once he had finished devouring Mark he felt bad about eating the poor guy. So he went to a wise octopus and asked what he could do. The octopus sent him on a quest to scalp an elf, but first he had to visit some sea gnomes to make him a supershark suit so that he could walk on land. (My sister is now reminding me that apparently I had to come up with a reason why elves and gnomes are different. What I ended up telling her was that elves lived on land and gnomes lived underwater. makes sense…) So after acquiring his supersuit, Leonard set off, but was thrown off by a storm and ended up in China. While there he met a llama named Ferdinand and they decided to walk together to Ireland to find some elves. And then they were chased by a Chinese mob. And then they ran into the Great Wall of China. And then Leonard accidentally broke a hole in the Wall. And then a bunch of mythical Chinese women who had been holding up the Wall since it was built came out. And the women got into a fight with the Chinese mob.
And then in route to Ireland they got sidetracked in Italy where they encountered a crazy monkey named Uga Borba who liked to bite of people’s toes. And he has this whole backstory about his dad named Gordon (when I got to this part of the story, I had to stop for like a full 20 seconds to try and think of a name for the dad, under the pretense that I was trying to “remember” it. And the best I could come up with was Gordon…) Basically Gordon had a habit of biting of people’s thumbs, but one day decided not to. And oh my goodness I am getting tired of telling this story. Just as I was getting tired of telling Miranda the pink joke back when I initially conceived the story. And no, she never figured out there was no punchline. After like two hours of me talking, I eventually just gave in and told her the catch.
I say she failed the gullibility test.
So this is basically what I imagined Borba looks like.