In response to Dear Kyra: The art of being a decent human being
I finally got around to watching the video in you last blog post last night. I super loved it, and it was well timed because I was having a not-so-great day. Actually I’ve had a couple weeks in a row where I’ve just felt a little off my game. Not like particularly bad weeks, but just weeks where I sort of felt disconnected. Like I was just sort of going through the motions. I can be kinda moody that way, but I don’t think many people notice because I (mostly) keep my bad days to myself.
I have this habit of smiling at myself in the mirror (you may remember from one of my self confidence posts). Usually I do it in the morning before I leave for the day and in the evening before I go to bed. And throughout the day as needed. Just a habit of mine. And after watching that video last night I realized I hadn’t done it in a long time.
The weird thing, I guess, is that I haven’t been having negative thoughts about myself. I just haven’t been thinking about myself. People tell you not to care what you look like, but I’m not sure that’s right. You should care. You should just be positive about it. Like not caring at all isn’t really good either.
Anyway, after sort of snapping out of my funk I decided I should do some journal writing, which accidentally turned into a lot of journal reading. And I realized something. Whoever reads my journal is going to think I’m a miserable person, because my journal hasn’t actually sounded happy since probably high school. Which is weird, because, for the most part, I look back fondly on the past few years.
Maybe I’m just more likely to write about things that are bothering me. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of good things in my journal too. I have two take home lessons from this.
1) You can be happy, even if there’s a lot of crap going on.
2) You don’t need to feel guilty about having a bad day. Or even a lot of bad days. It’s ok. Sometimes you’ll be in a funk. Just work on getting out of it and be patient with yourself in the meantime. Attitude doesn’t always change overnight.
I could (and quite possibly will in the future) elaborate on these. But this post is long and rambling anyway. And I should sleep at some point… You get the idea though.
And I was perusing the internet and came across Hyperbole and a Half, which is like my favorite blog ever. I found this, and it reminded me of you. She does a great post on depression.
Crying. It happens.
P.S. You should check out the Hyperbole and a Half post on depression. I like the part about the fish.