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Monthly Archives: May 2013

Mandatory Outrage toward Abercrombie and Fitch

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You’ve probably already heard about the ridiculous statement made by the Abercrombie and Fitch CEO. Everyone (and by everyone I mean Ellen Degeneres) is talking about it.

abercrombie

Here’s the quote from CEO Mike Jeffries:

“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong (in our clothes), and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny.”

There are plenty of ways one could go about attacking this statement. But perhaps the biggest flaw with the entire Abercrombie mentality is the misconception that largeness is inherently unattractive and uncool.

Abercrombie and Fitch can’t be blamed as the only voice passing along this propaganda. Plenty of people have been spreading the message that skinny is the only beautiful there is. And perhaps the only thing worse than the fact that the people perpetuating the lies believe it, is the fact that the people they target believe it.

Regardless of what size you are, your body is a miracle. Your joints allow an impressive range of motion. Your immune system protects from literally countless assailants. Your heart beats roughly 35 million times a year, supplying blood to a brain that sorts through an onslaught of stimuli and reacts by directing your limbs to move. And that only scratches the surface of what your body is capable of. You’re a living, breathing miracle.

That said, I think it’s important to take care of your body. But most of the women who diet and hit the gym are not motivated by a desire to be healthy, but rather by a desire to be skinny. And if they fail to achieve that standard, they fall into the trap of thinking they’re ugly or worthless.

So here’s the real truth: you are beautiful. Gorgeous, in fact. Your body may not be perfect. I know mine isn’t. Love it anyway; it’s the only one you’ve got.

As Selena Gomez might put it, "I'm no beauty queen. I'm just beautiful me."

As Selena Gomez might put it, “I’m no beauty queen. I’m just beautiful me.”

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Canadian Misadventures III (The Friendship Contract)

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I plan on this being the final installment of Canadian Misadventures. Mostly because I’ve used up my good stories and hope any future interactions with Canada will be less misadventurous. While the first two parts of this mini series have involved an actual trip to Canada, this is actually more about a Canadian than anything else.

We’ll call this Canadian Josh. Mostly because that’s his name. Josh and I are friends, which is actually what this post is about. Once upon a time Josh threatened to not be my friend any more, to which I responded maybe we never really friends in the first place. This in turn led to a friendship DTR*.

The friendship DTR resulted in a contract which I present here for your amusement:

Kyra and Josh’s Friendship Contract

  1. Verily, Kyra and Josh are friends.
  2. Josh will not touch Kyra on the back without permission*.
  3. Each party will agree and say yes when the other party asks when it pertains to questions asked by a third party or to support a ridiculous claim made by the first party. This is entitled the Ridiculous Claim Clause.
  4. Amendments can and will be made to this contract.
  5. The Gossip Clause: Kyra and Josh are obligated to share any known information with one another regarding pertinent observations/knowledge made pertaining to romantic interests by a third party.
  6. Kyra and Josh will remain friends in spite of distance separating us or lack of being in the same ward. This is entitled the Unconditional Friendship Clause.
  7. Josh is responsible for telling Kyra if the guy(s) she is/are dating are stupid/jerks/players/otherwise unfit for dating.
  8. The contract is up for renegotiation in the event of marriage.

*Exceptions to this include the presence of spiders/bugs on Kyra’s back. Josh is entitled automatic permission for the purpose of removing the insect from Kyra’s back.

Yes. It’s an epic friendship. And thus far all of the clauses have been put to use except for 7. and 8.

So Josh and I are actually the ones in the background of the picture. But the arc thing is actually a really long straw made from a bunch of normal size straws being stuck together. And it's cool. Oh the things that happen at IHOP at 2 AM. That's a story for another day though...

So Josh and I are actually the ones in the background of the picture. But the arc thing is actually a really long straw made from a bunch of normal size straws being stuck together. And it’s cool. Oh the things that happen at IHOP at 2 AM. That’s a story for another day though…

*DTR, I’ve discovered, is actually slang that’s used exclusively at BYU. Which is a pity, because it’s fantastically useful. DTR stands for Define The Relationship. It generally applies to a romantic relationship where you try to figure out where you’re at as a couple. However, it can be used to define a friendship as well.